When I was about six years old I had a conflict with my father over something trivial while we were outdoors. I tried to run away, but he grabbed me and began to spank me with his free hand. I began to cry. For this he spanked me more, ordering me to stop crying. I told him that he was making me cry, but this made him even more angry. I saw that he was irrational and that this would therefore continue. I realized then that I could ignore the spanking, quiet down, end the battle, and live for another time. So it was. In that moment he in fact lost a lot of his ability to control me in the future.
When I was 16 I had another conflict with my father. This time when he moved to grab me, I picked up a nearby pole and ordered him to stay away. He did. It was not long after this incident that I left home. I continued to attend high school, working on the side. I graduated early, earned scholarships, and moved to the college town where I began my studies. On my own, I worked, took out loans, lived cheaply, and eventually was able to declare myself financially independent.
Note that my father was not a brutal man, but he was of another era. And he had survived being chased by thugs with axe handles when he was a labor organizer.
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