Monday, March 16, 2015

nothing to hide/nothing to see

on paranoids

You could tap my brain, my phone and my computers now and there is nothing I'd fear being seen (but I still don't like drones buzzing around).  In the past when I buzzed around obsessed, around the turn of this century, I felt extreme paranoia about The Watchers.  Eventually I cleaned up: regular, complete sleep, values clarification, making behavior consistent with my values, therapy and, most of all, meditation and my wife. Extreme times had made little things into mountains of significance and my simple journey had become a battle slog.  I am so very grateful that is over and done!

Note: there were consequences for those I interacted with in the early Blogosphere; for that I strongly apologize. My magnified concerns and my obsessive focus on them created a paper tiger which cast a shadow. I wish I could undo that - but I cannot.  It weighed primarily on those who did not know what exactly they were seeing and who imagined all manner of things.  Mainly I put some people on a pedestal - that was pretty much it, nothing more unsavory, but how would they know?  While the pedestals are gone, undermined by more realism and by my experience with those people's dark sides, my respect remains.  Not just because these people are wealthy now, either... they've proven they can create and deliver - kudos to them and best wishes!
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