Loss of friends and relatives is much more common at my age. It is not any easier now just because it is well known. With that fact at the forefront, the imminence of death is clearly something to keep in mind. So is the recombination of our circle of friends, family, and colleagues. I now face the near term death of several people who are really key in my life. Pontificating in the face of this development is questionable, so I will keep this short and turn this post over to someone more qualified, Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche:
Change is continuous. Day by day, one season slips into the next. Day turns into night and night to day. Buildings don’t suddenly grow old; rather, second by second, from the moment they’re constructed, they begin to deteriorate… Think of beings inhabiting this universe. How many people born a hundred years ago are still alive?… We see the play of impermanence in our relationships as well. How many of our family members, friends, people in our hometown, have died? How many have moved away, disappearing from our lives forever?… At one time we felt happy just being near a person we loved. Just to hold that person’s hand made us feel wonderful. Now maybe we can’t stand him, don’t want to know anything about him. Whatever comes together must fall apart, whatever once fathered must separate, whatever was born must die. Continual change, relentless change, is constant in our world.
Don’t burden others with your expectations. Understanding their limitations can inspire compassion instead of disappointment, ensuring beneficial and workable relationships. Remember that you have only a short time together. Be grateful for each day you share.
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